








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 554 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6422 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,377 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5400 | 44% |
| Smokes | 3197 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3402 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 378 | 3% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,752,379 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 254 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ﻝﮞ Caky (♿) | 727 | 0.17 | 20 min |
| #2 | paul=DD | 525 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #3 | LukLuk | 416 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #4 | tilted Tommy Blaze | 116 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Swantus ☠ | 83 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tharlik | +4.24 | 75 | 64 |
| #2 | Jiggy | +2.42 | 87 | 56 |
| #3 | paul=DD | +2.40 | 90 | 66 |
| #4 | Swantus ☠ | +0.69 | 72 | 53 |
| #5 | Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ﻝﮞ Caky (♿) | -0.41 | 64 | 58 |





