








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 203 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 249 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5861 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,911 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2275 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3336 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2871 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2429 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,615,523 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 120 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lamp God | 56% | 97 |
| #2 | Stalkerâ„¢ | 49% | 197 |
| #3 | Drag0n Sta1ker | 46% | 98 |
| #4 | querto123 | 45% | 76 |
| #5 | Xavier | 41% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xavier | 17 | 0.0132 |
| #2 | Lamp God | 12 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Lamp Man | 8 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | Drag0n Sta1ker | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Stalkerâ„¢ | 5 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stalkerâ„¢ | 1249 | 0.30 | 40 min |
| #2 | Drag0n Sta1ker | 556 | 0.28 | 18 min |
| #3 | Lamp God | 486 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| #4 | Lamp Man | 247 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #5 | querto123 | 144 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lamp God | +2.23 | 64 | 75 |
| #2 | Drag0n Sta1ker | +2.03 | 64 | 77 |
| #3 | Lamp Man | +1.49 | 84 | 69 |
| #4 | Stalkerâ„¢ | +1.36 | 48 | 78 |
| #5 | querto123 | +0.82 | 68 | 48 |





