








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
992 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,562 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 381 | 15% |
| Smokes | 883 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 712 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 586 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $245,056 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jsangvik | 93% | 15 |
| #2 | ICE M.F MIKE | 90% | 30 |
| #3 | Buckbeak | 75% | 12 |
| #4 | m1zzer | 71% | 7 |
| #5 | Watermylawn | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jsangvik | 1 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Buckbeak | 1 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ICE M.F MIKE | +5.32 | 92 | 63 |
| #2 | FourFlushed | +2.09 | 77 | 52 |
| #3 | Watermylawn | +1.44 | 75 | 75 |
| #4 | m1zzer | +1.05 | 67 | 45 |
| #5 | Jsangvik | +0.56 | 88 | 49 |





