








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1017 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 243 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6276 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,113 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6337 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5845 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4551 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5380 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,530,675 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 586 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WeChat User | 63% | 51 |
| #2 | proff | 58% | 92 |
| #3 | Tinky Winky | 57% | 220 |
| #4 | The Wock | 51% | 204 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WeChat User | 63% | 51 |
| #2 | proff | 58% | 92 |
| #3 | Tinky Winky | 57% | 220 |
| #4 | The Wock | 51% | 204 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Wock | 15 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Tinky Winky | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | proff | 9 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | WeChat User | 3 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tinky Winky | 786 | 0.18 | 22 min |
| #2 | The Wock | 267 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #3 | proff | 153 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | WeChat User | 108 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ollieeddo | +2.13 | 83 | 69 |
| #2 | Tinky Winky | +1.47 | 66 | 72 |
| #3 | WeChat User | +1.12 | 69 | 60 |
| #4 | proff | -0.50 | 62 | 48 |
| #5 | The Wock | -1.45 | 63 | 51 |





