








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 243 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Esplay | 13 matches | 2,376 | |
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
827 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,120 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 829 | 27% |
| Smokes | 829 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 694 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 768 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $155,686 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 84 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dark knight | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | phzy | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | Jerry | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | delle | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | jacob | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Jerry | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | delle | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | jacob | 57% | 14 |
| #6 | tvs | 53% | 17 |
| #7 | Fabbelit0 | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dark knight | 8 | 0.0320 |
| #2 | delle | 5 | 0.0265 |
| #3 | Fabbelit0 | 3 | 0.0095 |
| #4 | phzy | 2 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | tvs | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phzy | 79 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #2 | tvs | 58 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | dark knight | 43 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #4 | jacob | 42 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Fabbelit0 | 35 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phzy | +3.47 | 96 | 64 |
| #2 | aim_b1tz | +2.36 | 89 | 76 |
| #3 | delle | +1.85 | 96 | 65 |
| #4 | tvs | +1.34 | 92 | 56 |
| #5 | jacob | +1.01 | 93 | 64 |





