








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2227 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,495 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3411 | 53% |
| Smokes | 1682 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 216 | 3% |
| Molotovs | 1186 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $124,130 of utility $43 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bojji | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | Shacky on cracky | 75% | 12 |
| #3 | Tezzy Bear | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | the goat | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | TUNG TUNG TUNG SAHUR | 50% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | TUNG TUNG TUNG SAHUR | 50% | 127 |
| #6 | Doctor Cockter | 43% | 7 |
| #7 | Bibs | 39% | 18 |
| #8 | Azzarudders | 38% | 13 |
| #9 | к о г и. | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TUNG TUNG TUNG SAHUR | 10 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Azzarudders | 2 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | Tezzy Bear | 1 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | the goat | 1 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | Bojji | 1 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TUNG TUNG TUNG SAHUR | 211 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #2 | к о г и. | 42 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | Azzarudders | 31 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | the goat | 22 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Tezzy Bear | 21 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brum | +6.75 | 88 | 76 |
| #2 | the goat | +4.36 | 88 | 60 |
| #3 | к о г и. | +0.14 | 60 | 65 |
| #4 | Azzarudders | -0.40 | 76 | 62 |
| #5 | Bojji | -0.55 | 81 | 46 |





