








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 721 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 24 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6544 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,146 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7103 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4761 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 5881 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4401 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,651,257 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 853 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GetMeAPint | 46% | 213 |
| #2 | Sayvage | 31% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GetMeAPint | 46% | 213 |
| #2 | Sayvage | 31% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GetMeAPint | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Sayvage | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GetMeAPint | 412 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #2 | Sayvage | 214 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sayvage | +2.36 | 79 | 65 |
| #2 | GetMeAPint | +1.54 | 73 | 70 |
| #3 | Betty Creamer | -0.56 | 60 | 60 |





