








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 225 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
501 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,440 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 711 | 49% |
| Smokes | 133 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 43 | 3% |
| Molotovs | 553 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $331,965 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Cam (P.h.D.) | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | red | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | ✪ s l u k e | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | James | 48% | 67 |
| #5 | BigWeinerStatus | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | James | 170 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Shlerf | 98 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | red | 58 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | Dr. Cam (P.h.D.) | 41 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | ✪ s l u k e | 40 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Cam (P.h.D.) | +4.18 | 79 | 51 |
| #2 | Shlerf | +3.70 | 86 | 36 |
| #3 | red | +3.33 | 61 | 51 |
| #4 | ✪ s l u k e | +1.56 | 50 | 47 |
| #5 | BigWeinerStatus | -0.02 | 69 | 50 |





