








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1170 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,462 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1492 | 43% |
| Smokes | 43 | 1% |
| HE Grenades | 1094 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 833 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $242,026 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᵃˡˡᵃʳʰ ᵏᵃʳᶦᶦˢ | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | ganjaman | 69% | 13 |
| #3 | Spectra | 53% | 47 |
| #4 | jõhkard Mart | 44% | 9 |
| #5 | Gladiator | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᵃˡˡᵃʳʰ ᵏᵃʳᶦᶦˢ | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | ganjaman | 69% | 13 |
| #3 | Spectra | 53% | 47 |
| #4 | jõhkard Mart | 44% | 9 |
| #5 | Gladiator | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ganjaman | 3 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | Spectra | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | ᵃˡˡᵃʳʰ ᵏᵃʳᶦᶦˢ | 1 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᵃˡˡᵃʳʰ ᵏᵃʳᶦᶦˢ | 53 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #2 | jõhkard Mart | 43 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #3 | ganjaman | 39 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Spectra | 34 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Gladiator | 17 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gladiator | +3.54 | 71 | 45 |
| #2 | ganjaman | +3.44 | 66 | 62 |
| #3 | ᵃˡˡᵃʳʰ ᵏᵃʳᶦᶦˢ | +2.07 | 79 | 43 |
| #4 | Grew | -0.33 | 58 | 60 |
| #5 | Spectra | -0.40 | 43 | 50 |





