










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 80 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 491 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3994 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,896 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3734 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5167 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1899 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 4096 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,893,195 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Boosted Shit | 47% | 38 |
| 47% | 206 | ||
| #8 | leeremenge | 46% | 56 |
| 46% | 67 | ||
| 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1151 | 0.26 | 24 min | ||
| #2 | leeremenge | 401 | 0.34 | 11 min |
| 321 | 0.24 | 8 min | ||
| #4 | Hippologist | 300 | 0.29 | 9 min |
| 252 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| +3.13 | 86 | 65 | ||
| #2 | Kanade | +1.71 | 71 | 72 |
| #3 | Boosted Shit | +1.36 | 71 | 69 |
| +0.56 | 64 | 72 | ||
| #5 | Hippologist | +0.25 | 71 | 72 |





