








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 134 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Faceit | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3092 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,707 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1187 | 25% |
| Smokes | 902 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1070 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1548 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $497,995 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 149 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | parker | 84% | 44 |
| #2 | drexd-iwnl- | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | B_rand0m | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | JapanMan99 | 40% | 10 |
| #5 | FROGTRAPPA | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | parker | 84% | 44 |
| #2 | drexd-iwnl- | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | B_rand0m | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | JapanMan99 | 40% | 10 |
| #5 | FROGTRAPPA | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | parker | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | FROGTRAPPA | 2 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | drexd-iwnl- | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | B_rand0m | 1 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | parker | 64 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | FROGTRAPPA | 60 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | drexd-iwnl- | 55 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | B_rand0m | 27 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | JapanMan99 | 23 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jelly | +2.70 | 88 | 50 |
| #2 | B_rand0m | +1.74 | 82 | 68 |
| #3 | parker | +0.97 | 78 | 65 |
| #4 | JapanMan99 | +0.54 | 95 | 40 |
| #5 | drexd-iwnl- | +0.02 | 91 | 57 |





