










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 19 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
288 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 833 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 87 | 10% |
| Smokes | 233 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 434 | 52% |
| Molotovs | 79 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $122,328 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lazy | 55% | 33 |
| #2 | CrimsonChin | 53% | 34 |
| #3 | jwax | 48% | 31 |
| #4 | M0tH | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lazy | 55% | 33 |
| #2 | CrimsonChin | 53% | 34 |
| #3 | jwax | 48% | 31 |
| #4 | M0tH | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lazy | 5 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | jwax | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | M0tH | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jwax | 59 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | M0tH | 42 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | Lazy | 40 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | CrimsonChin | 34 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jwax | +3.18 | 64 | 69 |
| #2 | Lazy | +3.16 | 59 | 51 |
| #3 | M0tH | -0.32 | 58 | 71 |
| #4 | mej. | -1.27 | 61 | 39 |
| #5 | CrimsonChin | -2.06 | 52 | 31 |





