








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 552 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Faceit | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4741 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,107 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6873 | 36% |
| Smokes | 5611 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2232 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 4391 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $814,989 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 139 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mr beehg | 15 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | JadenWaden | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | EVO loco | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | F1NESS8 | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | S1n3star | 5 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JadenWaden | 1035 | 0.29 | 23 min |
| #2 | reuspect | 674 | 0.22 | 19 min |
| #3 | EVO loco | 427 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #4 | F1NESS8 | 427 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #5 | mr beehg | 257 | 0.15 | 7 min |





