








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 645 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 248 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




130 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2724 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,468 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3343 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3107 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 5248 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4770 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,215,333 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1423 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GroggyGreg1974(grogged) | 51% | 35 |
| #2 | Safdo | 41% | 118 |
| #3 | bifs | 39% | 220 |
| #4 | Catfish | 37% | 106 |
| #5 | SchizophrenicOrange | 33% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GroggyGreg1974(grogged) | 51% | 35 |
| #2 | Safdo | 41% | 118 |
| #3 | bifs | 39% | 220 |
| #4 | Catfish | 37% | 106 |
| #5 | SchizophrenicOrange | 33% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bifs | 20 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Catfish | 12 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | Safdo | 9 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | SchizophrenicOrange | 5 | 0.0090 |
| #5 | GroggyGreg1974(grogged) | 2 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bifs | 451 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #2 | Catfish | 184 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | SchizophrenicOrange | 128 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #4 | Safdo | 120 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | GroggyGreg1974(grogged) | 17 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GroggyGreg1974(grogged) | +4.19 | 68 | 47 |
| #2 | SchizophrenicOrange | +3.43 | 66 | 58 |
| #3 | Safdo | +2.42 | 45 | 58 |
| #4 | bifs | -0.32 | 38 | 59 |
| #5 | Catfish | -0.75 | 39 | 59 |





