








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 710 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 353 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 206 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 116 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8871 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,422 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6358 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5441 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 7298 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 8325 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,236,548 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 686 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MEDVZA | 23 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | JDinsz | 23 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | artNdee | 19 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | ZAD | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | AlphaOmega | 6 | 0.0012 |





