








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 187 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 168 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2327 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,251 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3074 | 42% |
| Smokes | 1610 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1661 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 906 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $277,392 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 137 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kuzon | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | ✪ Bremer | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | Knee Gears | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | Plumming&Bumming | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | CNR | 53% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kuzon | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | ✪ Bremer | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | Knee Gears | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | Plumming&Bumming | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | CNR | 53% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CNR | 11 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | Knee Gears | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Plumming&Bumming | 2 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CNR | 298 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #2 | Plumming&Bumming | 76 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #3 | ✪ Bremer | 67 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | Knee Gears | 51 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Kuzon | 47 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CNR | +3.45 | 77 | 73 |
| #2 | ✪ Bremer | +0.71 | 74 | 65 |
| #3 | Kuzon | +0.31 | 79 | 68 |
| #4 | Jakey | +0.04 | 73 | 61 |
| #5 | Knee Gears | -1.91 | 59 | 49 |





