








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 225 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
411 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,459 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 380 | 26% |
| Smokes | 377 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 390 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 312 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $147,285 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 102 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gustav Gris | 3 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | Tiv | 3 | 0.0139 |
| #3 | Rabb1t | 3 | 0.0224 |
| #4 | TMS | 2 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | BobbyB | 2 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tiv | 39 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #2 | Gustav Gris | 34 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | TMS | 32 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | BobbyB | 15 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Rabb1t | 10 | 0.07 | 0 min |





