










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 50 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 3 different maps



Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
40 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 127 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 42 | 33% |
| Smokes | 26 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 35 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 24 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $26,155 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SIGGENDEEZ | 25% | 4 |
| #2 | JOHANNES | 20% | 5 |
| #3 | Jeza | 20% | 5 |
| #4 | ShaKa | 17% | 6 |
| #5 | Lepe | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SIGGENDEEZ | 25% | 4 |
| #2 | JOHANNES | 20% | 5 |
| #3 | Jeza | 20% | 5 |
| #4 | ShaKa | 17% | 6 |
| #5 | Lepe | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SIGGENDEEZ | 2 | 0.0270 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JOHANNES | 24 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #2 | ShaKa | 9 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #3 | SIGGENDEEZ | 9 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #4 | Lepe | 5 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #5 | Jeza | 3 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SIGGENDEEZ | +4.95 | 95 | 66 |
| #2 | JOHANNES | +0.67 | 87 | 75 |
| #3 | Lepe | +0.26 | 83 | 77 |
| #4 | Jeza | -0.36 | 95 | 45 |
| #5 | ShaKa | -2.94 | 83 | 35 |





