










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
748 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,150 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 533 | 25% |
| Smokes | 482 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 557 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 578 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $184,348 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 218 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ❤M4NGO❤ | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | ․ | 68% | 22 |
| #3 | nesq1k | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | Carguy1223 | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | Stonk gand0n | 55% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ❤M4NGO❤ | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | ․ | 68% | 22 |
| #3 | nesq1k | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | Carguy1223 | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | Stonk gand0n | 55% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ❤M4NGO❤ | 4 | 0.0221 |
| #2 | Carguy1223 | 4 | 0.0280 |
| #3 | ․ | 3 | 0.0100 |
| #4 | Stonk gand0n | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stonk gand0n | 37 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #2 | ❤M4NGO❤ | 14 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #3 | ․ | 13 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | Carguy1223 | 11 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | nesq1k | 3 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ․ | +7.36 | 99 | 50 |
| #2 | Stonk gand0n | +3.60 | 69 | 65 |
| #3 | Carguy1223 | +2.72 | 82 | 40 |
| #4 | ❤M4NGO❤ | +2.58 | 88 | 56 |
| #5 | ✪Pho[E]niX™ | +1.98 | 70 | 43 |





