








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 94 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
933 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,044 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1388 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1311 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1341 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1004 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $348,204 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ticticboom | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | bertiGOD | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | Saint22 | 65% | 17 |
| #4 | pitoco | 64% | 14 |
| #5 | p3dro | 63% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meowzin | 8 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | Kenji | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Psiiu | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | twitch.tv/mrFrancozera | 1 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | LePigeon | 1 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Psiiu | 168 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #2 | McL | 141 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #3 | hamper- | 135 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | p3dro | 104 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | Kenji | 99 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ticticboom | +7.39 | 81 | 71 |
| #2 | pitoco | +4.06 | 86 | 70 |
| #3 | McL | +2.90 | 79 | 74 |
| #4 | p3dro | +0.59 | 79 | 66 |
| #5 | Kenji | +0.23 | 61 | 72 |





