








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 860 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 882 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8424 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,810 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12846 | 38% |
| Smokes | 10927 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2850 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 7187 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,710,746 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 794 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zepher5610 | 51% | 350 |
| #2 | emoney[HH] | 50% | 96 |
| #3 | †ӨП¥ | 49% | 73 |
| #4 | a1mm | 49% | 563 |
| #5 | Appa | 47% | 333 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | emoney[HH] | 50% | 96 |
| #3 | †ӨП¥ | 49% | 73 |
| #4 | a1mm | 49% | 563 |
| #5 | Appa | 47% | 333 |
| #6 | Nago | 47% | 692 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | a1mm | 56 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Appa | 45 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Nago | 36 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | zepher5610 | 13 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | emoney[HH] | 4 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nago | 2681 | 0.18 | 55 min |
| #2 | a1mm | 2558 | 0.21 | 57 min |
| #3 | Appa | 1473 | 0.20 | 34 min |
| #4 | zepher5610 | 1306 | 0.17 | 27 min |
| #5 | †ӨП¥ | 239 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emoney[HH] | +0.73 | 63 | 63 |
| #2 | sirhalmi | +0.66 | 78 | 63 |
| #3 | a1mm | +0.61 | 75 | 57 |
| #4 | zepher5610 | +0.44 | 57 | 68 |
| #5 | †ӨП¥ | +0.38 | 76 | 48 |





