








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1026 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,554 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1656 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1053 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 895 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 950 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $211,367 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kylester1511 | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | Jdog | 69% | 29 |
| #3 | Denim2k | 60% | 91 |
| #4 | Ginger | 57% | 93 |
| #5 | @FuckboiPatrol | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kylester1511 | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | Jdog | 69% | 29 |
| #3 | Denim2k | 60% | 91 |
| #4 | Ginger | 57% | 93 |
| #5 | @FuckboiPatrol | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ginger | 8 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Denim2k | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | @FuckboiPatrol | 1 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ginger | 530 | 0.30 | 13 min |
| #2 | Denim2k | 220 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | @FuckboiPatrol | 73 | 0.33 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jdog | 37 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | kylester1511 | 5 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Denim2k | +3.89 | 80 | 59 |
| #2 | Ginger | +3.11 | 75 | 75 |
| #3 | @FuckboiPatrol | +2.75 | 77 | 79 |
| #4 | ✪ Dee ⓱ | -0.55 | 76 | 66 |
| #5 | Jdog | -2.81 | 47 | 34 |





