








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 442 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 311 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2286 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,840 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5112 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4457 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3786 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4485 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,341,744 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 239 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arqueiro_Gds1999 | 53% | 32 |
| #2 | Jhalin Hrabei | 48% | 71 |
| #3 | Pixuruco | 45% | 85 |
| #4 | CDB | Vitinn_ | 44% | 95 |
| #5 | Scapin | 42% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CDB | Vitinn_ | 277 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | Arqueiro_Gds1999 | 142 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | ☣ρ ɧ ǐ ℓ ℓ︻芫 --- | 138 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | mok]: | 117 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Pixuruco | 113 | 0.06 | 3 min |





