








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 64 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1533 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,211 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1749 | 42% |
| Smokes | 1037 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 468 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 957 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $316,600 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Krazy | 60% | 50 |
| #3 | Carbon | 51% | 75 |
| #4 | Barry | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | Mark | 40% | 10 |
| #6 | PhNatic | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carbon | 214 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | Krazy | 89 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Barry | 34 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | PhNatic | 33 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mark | 21 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carbon | +1.53 | 83 | 58 |
| #2 | PhNatic | +1.48 | 62 | 73 |
| #3 | Mark | +0.66 | 84 | 45 |
| #4 | Krazy | +0.30 | 76 | 53 |
| #5 | KenZ | +0.18 | 80 | 60 |





