








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 485 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 620 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6562 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,996 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 584 | 3% |
| Smokes | 3446 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 7762 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 6204 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,152,308 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 177 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Red | 62% | 63 |
| #2 | Merry | 49% | 232 |
| #3 | Harmless | 49% | 141 |
| #4 | baTerka | 48% | 223 |
| #5 | Uživatel drog | 48% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Merry | 49% | 232 |
| #3 | Harmless | 49% | 141 |
| #4 | baTerka | 48% | 223 |
| #5 | Uživatel drog | 48% | 71 |
| #6 | Ludwik | 43% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Merry | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Uživatel drog | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Ludwik | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Harmless | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Harmless | 416 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #2 | Ludwik | 164 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | Red | 136 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Merry | 119 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| #5 | baTerka | 79 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Merry | +3.98 | 84 | 49 |
| #2 | Red | +2.12 | 88 | 60 |
| #3 | Monkey | +0.61 | 52 | 38 |
| #4 | Ludwik | +0.15 | 56 | 62 |
| #5 | Uživatel drog | +0.11 | 52 | 57 |





