








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 503 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 474 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4651 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,987 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6063 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5226 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5786 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3912 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,645,914 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 285 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teme1 | 51% | 209 |
| #2 | Dopssu | 49% | 403 |
| #3 | ketanisti | 49% | 227 |
| #4 | teräsmies | 47% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teme1 | 51% | 209 |
| #2 | Dopssu | 49% | 403 |
| #3 | ketanisti | 49% | 227 |
| #4 | teräsmies | 47% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ketanisti | 25 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Dopssu | 23 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Teme1 | 20 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | teräsmies | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dopssu | 1034 | 0.12 | 28 min |
| #2 | Teme1 | 580 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #3 | ketanisti | 520 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #4 | teräsmies | 91 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teme1 | +1.01 | 81 | 62 |
| #2 | Dopssu | +0.12 | 33 | 64 |
| #3 | stenwall_ | -0.19 | 46 | 74 |
| #4 | teräsmies | -0.79 | 59 | 46 |
| #5 | ketanisti | -1.10 | 32 | 74 |





