








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 718 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 455 matches | ||
| Faceit | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4979 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,350 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4615 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4201 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6245 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4289 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,151,665 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 875 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr1nk Water Everyday ⭕⃤ | 58% | 43 |
| #2 | MrSalt | 56% | 136 |
| #3 | สาวประเภทสอง | 55% | 269 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr1nk Water Everyday ⭕⃤ | 58% | 43 |
| #2 | MrSalt | 56% | 136 |
| #3 | สาวประเภทสอง | 55% | 269 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | สาวประเภทสอง | 11 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | MrSalt | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #3 | Dr1nk Water Everyday ⭕⃤ | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | สาวประเภทสอง | 1042 | 0.18 | 25 min |
| #2 | MrSalt | 288 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | Dr1nk Water Everyday ⭕⃤ | 153 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | สาวประเภทสอง | +1.23 | 79 | 62 |
| #2 | Quant trader | +0.58 | 59 | 62 |
| #3 | Dr1nk Water Everyday ⭕⃤ | -1.91 | 48 | 60 |
| #4 | MrSalt | -2.42 | 51 | 46 |





