








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 345 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Esplay | 9 matches | 1,255 | |
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2038 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,274 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3866 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3256 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2531 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2621 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $818,928 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 255 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JonkeDAB | 48% | 23 |
| #2 | Nico | 33% | 18 |
| #3 | Vamper | 33% | 43 |
| #4 | Qoot | 32% | 25 |
| #5 | mUNCHER | 19% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JonkeDAB | 48% | 23 |
| #2 | Nico | 33% | 18 |
| #3 | Vamper | 33% | 43 |
| #4 | Qoot | 32% | 25 |
| #5 | mUNCHER | 19% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JonkeDAB | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Vamper | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vamper | 76 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | JonkeDAB | 69 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Nico | 56 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Qoot | 29 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | mUNCHER | 18 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JonkeDAB | +1.49 | 68 | 69 |
| #2 | Nico | +0.71 | 59 | 70 |
| #3 | Qoot | +0.51 | 54 | 54 |
| #4 | C.J. | -0.25 | 63 | 72 |
| #5 | mUNCHER | -1.09 | 34 | 44 |





