








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 157 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Esplay | 12 matches | 2,261 | |
| Premier | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
953 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,273 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 812 | 25% |
| Smokes | 872 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 631 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 958 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $162,827 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bappo | 87% | 15 |
| #2 | chucker | 83% | 18 |
| #3 | Spredd | 80% | 5 |
| #4 | bJ0RK- | 79% | 14 |
| #5 | tranny destroyer #1488 | 75% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Vedal | 50% | 6 |
| #13 | EBI | 45% | 11 |
| #14 | ToByZzXD -iwnl- | 44% | 9 |
| #15 | fress- | 40% | 5 |
| #16 | donart | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tranny destroyer #1488 | 4 | 0.0240 |
| #2 | Vedal | 2 | 0.0156 |
| #3 | chucker | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | bappo | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | bJ0RK- | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chucker | 85 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #2 | samee | 75 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #3 | bJ0RK- | 66 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | tranny destroyer #1488 | 46 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #5 | EBI | 45 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | walter | +5.69 | 95 | 65 |
| #2 | tranny destroyer #1488 | +5.24 | 78 | 51 |
| #3 | Spredd | +3.34 | 98 | 52 |
| #4 | EKSTREM I FORT | +2.53 | 87 | 76 |
| #5 | yorushika | +2.41 | 89 | 70 |





