








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 112 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 141 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1632 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,025 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 668 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1095 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1615 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 647 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,160,773 of utility $296 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 139 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Shooter | 57% | 164 |
| #4 | Bockwurstmagier Sveni | 57% | 96 |
| #5 | Rollstuhl Rolf ♿ | 57% | 90 |
| #6 | >MOC< | 52% | 96 |
| #7 | Way2Sky | 42% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | >MOC< | 44 | 0.0226 |
| #2 | Bockwurstmagier Sveni | 27 | 0.0148 |
| #3 | Shooter | 17 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Rollstuhl Rolf ♿ | 8 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Way2Sky | 3 | 0.0048 |





