








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 401 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 190 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1761 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,347 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1484 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1889 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2528 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1446 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,305,917 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 297 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bench albeno | 48% | 81 |
| #2 | pghtrouble | 46% | 26 |
| #3 | bortolinho | 46% | 24 |
| #4 | framed | 44% | 64 |
| #5 | Banana Donny | 41% | 229 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Banana Donny | 15 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | maplemode | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | framed | 8 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | bench albeno | 7 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Kubbub | 7 | 0.0142 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Banana Donny | 494 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #2 | maplemode | 276 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | framed | 256 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #4 | bench albeno | 200 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | bortolinho | 67 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bench albeno | +6.50 | 77 | 50 |
| #2 | framed | +6.16 | 81 | 70 |
| #3 | bortolinho | +5.47 | 82 | 53 |
| #4 | pghtrouble | +0.52 | 64 | 51 |
| #5 | Banana Donny | -0.32 | 60 | 66 |





