








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 240 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
651 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,383 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 336 | 14% |
| Smokes | 631 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 630 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 786 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $560,276 of utility $286 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yung Tubby | 45% | 44 |
| #2 | George | 41% | 64 |
| #3 | BigGarfFan38 | 31% | 32 |
| #4 | DarkBrandonAcolyte | 30% | 53 |
| #5 | uhaul truck | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yung Tubby | +4.34 | 54 | 59 |
| #2 | uhaul truck | +3.44 | 69 | 41 |
| #3 | BigGarfFan38 | +2.22 | 62 | 49 |
| #4 | Gonzo | -1.07 | 40 | 46 |
| #5 | George | -1.58 | 16 | 48 |





