








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1819 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,041 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2734 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2156 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1355 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1796 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $343,015 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | True♿ | 59% | 22 |
| #8 | WavvY | 59% | 82 |
| #9 | Kenny S | 55% | 22 |
| #10 | seaguLL | 54% | 37 |
| #11 | EthanSevert | 54% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BR33ZY | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | WavvY | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | neally rigga | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | seaguLL | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Kenny S | 3 | 0.0066 |





