








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 272 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2358 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,086 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1665 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1386 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1331 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1704 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $703,437 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 964 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bub | 77% | 26 |
| #2 | BOT Frog | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | jellybran | 61% | 23 |
| #4 | yup | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | ZGeneral | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | BOT Frog | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | jellybran | 61% | 23 |
| #4 | yup | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | ZGeneral | 50% | 10 |
| #6 | Tundra | 47% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tundra | 41 | 0.0181 |
| #2 | jellybran | 4 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | Bub | 3 | 0.0093 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tundra | 557 | 0.25 | 13 min |
| #2 | ZGeneral | 64 | 0.30 | 1 min |
| #3 | jellybran | 63 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Bub | 55 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | yup | 36 | 0.49 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZGeneral | +7.46 | 56 | 63 |
| #2 | yup | +6.50 | 83 | 63 |
| #3 | jellybran | +2.59 | 79 | 42 |
| #4 | T0cS1ck | +1.54 | 78 | 60 |
| #5 | Bub | +0.87 | 79 | 55 |





