








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 458 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1515 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,552 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1265 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1090 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2085 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 1112 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $922,823 of utility $254 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 383 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Theodorus-Johanes van der Velden | 56% | 18 |
| #2 | SandwichMaker | 48% | 99 |
| #3 | ferrari | 46% | 26 |
| #4 | Sutepun | 44% | 9 |
| #5 | choc chip cookie | 40% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SandwichMaker | 190 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | choc chip cookie | 108 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | ferrari | 50 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Theodorus-Johanes van der Velden | 33 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sutepun | 26 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SandwichMaker | +2.89 | 72 | 61 |
| #2 | Sutepun | +1.04 | 54 | 60 |
| #3 | ferrari | +0.97 | 48 | 55 |
| #4 | Theodorus-Johanes van der Velden | +0.76 | 72 | 51 |
| #5 | sQi | +0.26 | 53 | 59 |





