








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 879 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4273 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,921 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2631 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3318 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2339 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1633 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,669,065 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 404 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☯𝕵aϻ͢͢͢al巛 | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | Bomberpilot | 54% | 68 |
| #3 | H O M E S T Y L E | 50% | 38 |
| #4 | playerone | 50% | 64 |
| #5 | BuggymaN | 50% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Mrs Devil | 41% | 353 |
| #10 | MrSidiros | 39% | 36 |
| #11 | ree | 35% | 23 |
| #12 | Edhelo | 30% | 40 |
| #13 | [=SC=]Optimusprime | 28% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mrs Devil | 35 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Kiffen | 21 | 0.0107 |
| #3 | Bomberpilot | 11 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | playerone | 6 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | ree | 6 | 0.0132 |





