










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 147 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
500 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,330 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 180 | 14% |
| Smokes | 262 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 479 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 409 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $231,426 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pooop | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Skhyze | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | Mains | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | hun | 50% | 68 |
| #5 | David | 49% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | David | 49% | 86 |
| #6 | smoto | 46% | 59 |
| #7 | Berried Delight | 44% | 27 |
| #8 | Oats | 37% | 27 |
| #9 | Los Pollos Hermanos | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hun | 9 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | smoto | 9 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | Mains | 6 | 0.0224 |
| #4 | David | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Berried Delight | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smoto | 300 | 0.27 | 8 min |
| #2 | David | 210 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | hun | 140 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Oats | 53 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Skhyze | 48 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mains | +2.94 | 76 | 42 |
| #2 | hun | +2.82 | 84 | 46 |
| #3 | David | +2.24 | 78 | 50 |
| #4 | Skhyze | +0.61 | 69 | 74 |
| #5 | pooop | +0.57 | 76 | 46 |





