








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 543 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 179 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2194 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,099 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1652 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1763 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2992 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1692 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,034,455 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1240 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Omari Ndizi | 42% | 106 |
| #2 | TanTos | 40% | 107 |
| #3 | 𝗚𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲™ | 39% | 23 |
| #4 | cho | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Omari Ndizi | 42% | 106 |
| #2 | TanTos | 40% | 107 |
| #3 | 𝗚𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲™ | 39% | 23 |
| #4 | cho | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TanTos | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Omari Ndizi | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | 𝗚𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲™ | 2 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TanTos | 237 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | cho | 91 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #3 | Omari Ndizi | 87 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | 𝗚𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲™ | 34 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeadshotHunter | +0.03 | 43 | 56 |
| #2 | Omari Ndizi | +0.03 | 42 | 34 |
| #3 | cho | -0.24 | 69 | 72 |
| #4 | TanTos | -0.89 | 30 | 67 |
| #5 | 𝗚𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲™ | -1.27 | 60 | 41 |





