








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1006 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 259 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3418 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,712 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2246 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1915 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3675 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 2876 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,327,426 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 268 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nutson | 64% | 36 |
| #2 | Heartless depressed | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | Uηfc𐤊ωitђα₿le | 57% | 46 |
| #4 | Jamin Linduson Zhang | 56% | 253 |
| #5 | ezforblank | 55% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Jamin Linduson Zhang | 56% | 253 |
| #5 | ezforblank | 55% | 92 |
| #6 | kanebazo | 55% | 42 |
| #7 | eXcuse | 54% | 100 |
| #8 | FaroeMystiC | 52% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jamin Linduson Zhang | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | eXcuse | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | ezforblank | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Uηfc𐤊ωitђα₿le | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | nutson | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jamin Linduson Zhang | 626 | 0.12 | 19 min |
| #2 | ezforblank | 341 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #3 | eXcuse | 214 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Uηfc𐤊ωitђα₿le | 135 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | nutson | 73 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nutson | +3.01 | 80 | 64 |
| #2 | Reyvagras | +1.82 | 77 | 62 |
| #3 | kanebazo | +1.81 | 60 | 58 |
| #4 | FaroeMystiC | +0.97 | 82 | 65 |
| #5 | Uηfc𐤊ωitђα₿le | +0.15 | 74 | 72 |





