








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1533 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,199 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1160 | 28% |
| Smokes | 988 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1087 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 964 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $347,132 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Tts- | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | Maus ♡ | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | Bob | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | spjdee | 50% | 16 |
| #5 | Y E S M A N | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Maus ♡ | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | Bob | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | spjdee | 50% | 16 |
| #5 | Y E S M A N | 48% | 23 |
| #6 | $.h0mE | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $.h0mE | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Y E S M A N | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | spjdee | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | -Tts- | 1 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Maus ♡ | 1 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Y E S M A N | 55 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #2 | $.h0mE | 54 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | -Tts- | 43 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | spjdee | 27 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Bob | 25 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Tts- | +2.55 | 85 | 64 |
| #2 | Lucasss | +1.41 | 72 | 48 |
| #3 | spjdee | -0.84 | 46 | 60 |
| #4 | Bob | -1.27 | 62 | 59 |
| #5 | $.h0mE | -1.28 | 68 | 51 |





