








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 155 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2032 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,843 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1359 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1560 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1075 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 849 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $820,235 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GothKami | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | n1gel | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | t bird | 53% | 135 |
| #4 | ✪ grav | 51% | 47 |
| #5 | Distinguished Master Gentleman | 51% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | t bird | 53% | 135 |
| #4 | ✪ grav | 51% | 47 |
| #5 | Distinguished Master Gentleman | 51% | 55 |
| #6 | mike hunt | 44% | 36 |
| #7 | Brobeans | 20% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | t bird | 12 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Distinguished Master Gentleman | 10 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | ✪ grav | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | GothKami | 3 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | mike hunt | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | t bird | 361 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | Distinguished Master Gentleman | 352 | 0.31 | 9 min |
| #3 | GothKami | 113 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #4 | ✪ grav | 86 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | n1gel | 71 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GothKami | +3.12 | 69 | 67 |
| #2 | t bird | +1.98 | 70 | 54 |
| #3 | Stoking | +1.02 | 62 | 47 |
| #4 | Brobeans | +0.42 | 62 | 57 |
| #5 | Distinguished Master Gentleman | +0.14 | 58 | 59 |





