








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 83 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1624 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,991 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1407 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1134 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 787 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 663 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $486,738 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Joker | 73% | 77 |
| #2 | BlingZy | 62% | 87 |
| #3 | SchillZ | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Joker | 73% | 77 |
| #2 | BlingZy | 62% | 87 |
| #3 | SchillZ | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BlingZy | 484 | 0.26 | 12 min |
| #2 | The Joker | 204 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | SchillZ | 70 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lieutenant Dan | +1.34 | 83 | 49 |
| #2 | BlingZy | +1.21 | 70 | 69 |
| #3 | The Joker | +0.23 | 67 | 57 |
| #4 | SchillZ | -2.13 | 59 | 37 |





