








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1188 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Esplay | 28 matches | 1,977 | |
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4414 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,848 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2410 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2700 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2153 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2585 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $585,961 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 670 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Yuriγ‘γγ | 50% | 34 |
| #8 | linne(a) β© | 48% | 21 |
| #9 | Escobars_sideh0e | 46% | 24 |
| #10 | Dog | 45% | 38 |
| #11 | Cookey | 37% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π’π’ | 14 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | :^) | 5 | 0.0107 |
| #3 | Pronxzey | 3 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | Yuriγ‘γγ | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | KwiZ | 2 | 0.0039 |





