








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 532 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 277 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 242 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4209 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,721 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3196 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2936 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2409 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2180 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,701,442 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 808 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keisarinvaimo | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | Rem | 54% | 112 |
| #3 | JD | 53% | 132 |
| #4 | Speklapje | 49% | 53 |
| #5 | Balalaika | 49% | 168 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rem | 445 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #2 | Balalaika | 430 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | JD | 412 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | Speklapje | 134 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | T.A.R.T.A. | 84 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rem | +2.58 | 83 | 65 |
| #2 | Xammie | +0.58 | 65 | 60 |
| #3 | Keisarinvaimo | +0.53 | 36 | 63 |
| #4 | JD | +0.38 | 88 | 66 |
| #5 | T.A.R.T.A. | -0.09 | 50 | 73 |





