








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 119 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
972 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,525 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 734 | 29% |
| Smokes | 651 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 599 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 541 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $297,689 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 179 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Case Farmer | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | this game sucks | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | Mr_Lemur_ | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Case Farmer | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | this game sucks | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | Mr_Lemur_ | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr_Lemur_ | 4 | 0.0156 |
| #2 | Case Farmer | 3 | 0.0283 |
| #3 | this game sucks | 2 | 0.0114 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr_Lemur_ | 48 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #2 | this game sucks | 38 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #3 | Case Farmer | 22 | 0.21 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hotel Breakfast | +2.77 | 76 | 60 |
| #2 | Mr_Lemur_ | +1.70 | 46 | 50 |
| #3 | Case Farmer | +1.09 | 62 | 51 |
| #4 | this game sucks | -0.22 | 53 | 68 |





