








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 47 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
403 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,101 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 498 | 24% |
| Smokes | 377 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 652 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 574 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $275,233 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 146 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teams | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | SMORMU | 38% | 8 |
| #3 | Bronkho | 37% | 30 |
| #4 | ⭕⃤ Kadage92 | 33% | 6 |
| #5 | TobiMK | 33% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⭕⃤ NuramonJones | 7 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | TobiMK | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | ⭕⃤ Billy Willy | 2 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | Teams | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⭕⃤ NuramonJones | 77 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | TobiMK | 49 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Teams | 46 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | SMORMU | 25 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #5 | ⭕⃤ Billy Willy | 14 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teams | +5.64 | 89 | 54 |
| #2 | TobiMK | +4.09 | 87 | 55 |
| #3 | ⭕⃤ Billy Willy | +0.45 | 53 | 57 |
| #4 | ⭕⃤ Kadage92 | -0.32 | 75 | 47 |
| #5 | Bronkho | -0.81 | 73 | 39 |





