








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 588 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2384 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,998 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2519 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1964 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1801 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1714 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $766,511 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 179 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Olofsson | 59% | 70 |
| #2 | Manuel | 58% | 106 |
| #3 | ABO | 56% | 149 |
| #4 | bENGU | 55% | 146 |
| #5 | Livsarenツ❤Ⓡ | 55% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Livsarenツ❤Ⓡ | 55% | 29 |
| #6 | amina kodum | 54% | 35 |
| #7 | 𝑷.𝑰.Ξ.Я.Я.Ξ | 52% | 87 |
| #8 | 500 KG peek STAVVEツ | 52% | 91 |
| #9 | BOSS | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 500 KG peek STAVVEツ | 13 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | 𝑷.𝑰.Ξ.Я.Я.Ξ | 11 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | Manuel | 10 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | bENGU | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Olofsson | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bENGU | 954 | 0.30 | 22 min |
| #2 | ABO | 241 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | 500 KG peek STAVVEツ | 229 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | Manuel | 151 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Olofsson | 142 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 500 KG peek STAVVEツ | +2.16 | 90 | 49 |
| #2 | Kalleballe | +2.11 | 77 | 68 |
| #3 | bENGU | +1.17 | 73 | 66 |
| #4 | Olofsson | +0.84 | 64 | 61 |
| #5 | Manuel | -0.06 | 67 | 47 |





