








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
449 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,176 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 338 | 29% |
| Smokes | 248 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 188 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 402 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $93,720 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sex Haver (has sex) | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | flatballbrady | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | syl | 63% | 16 |
| #4 | peenpon | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | LAZY | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flatballbrady | 4 | 0.0606 |
| #2 | peenpon | 2 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | syl | 1 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | ジェリー | 1 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ibiza | 108 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | LAZY | 93 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | syl | 54 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | alice | 27 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | flatballbrady | 22 | 0.33 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LAZY | +3.98 | 82 | 76 |
| #2 | flatballbrady | +2.82 | 61 | 44 |
| #3 | ibiza | +1.74 | 72 | 57 |
| #4 | peenpon | +1.31 | 76 | 62 |
| #5 | syl | +0.85 | 67 | 61 |





