








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 760 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4498 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,996 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4868 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4692 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3163 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3273 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $949,529 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 437 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BuccaSukka | 65% | 31 |
| #2 | A Fucking Hero | 64% | 22 |
| #3 | Fred | 62% | 26 |
| #4 | S ¢ o o b e r t | 56% | 36 |
| #5 | Jinjy | 55% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | A Fucking Hero | 64% | 22 |
| #3 | Fred | 62% | 26 |
| #4 | S ¢ o o b e r t | 56% | 36 |
| #5 | Jinjy | 55% | 120 |
| #6 | kocham gołąbki | 54% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jinjy | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | kocham gołąbki | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | S ¢ o o b e r t | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Fred | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | A Fucking Hero | 2 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kocham gołąbki | 245 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #2 | Jinjy | 79 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #3 | S ¢ o o b e r t | 76 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | BuccaSukka | 63 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Fred | 59 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BuccaSukka | +3.67 | 78 | 50 |
| #2 | ✪Desperate | +1.52 | 73 | 67 |
| #3 | A Fucking Hero | +1.40 | 59 | 40 |
| #4 | S ¢ o o b e r t | +1.23 | 87 | 51 |
| #5 | Jinjy | -0.09 | 71 | 54 |





