








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2996 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1391 matches | ||
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 117 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
19374 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 73,874 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 19772 | 27% |
| Smokes | 19554 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 17408 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 17140 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,138,620 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2023 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | caesaR` | 57% | 207 |
| #2 | norskeN | 55% | 308 |
| #3 | chin | 51% | 288 |
| #4 | Datchi | 51% | 623 |
| #5 | jakelol | 51% | 1317 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | caesaR` | +4.75 | 93 | 77 |
| #2 | Ruud | +2.17 | 59 | 79 |
| #3 | norskeN | +1.09 | 82 | 60 |
| #4 | jakelol | -0.29 | 66 | 65 |
| #5 | icyy | -0.66 | 58 | 69 |





